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Attention! Why It’s a Waste of Time to Help People that Do Not Deserve Your Help

2013 is almost ending :), Hope you’ve started making plans on how to make 2014 successful, you should :). I want to talk of something interesting today and, i know that you might disagree with me on this one but, I’m certain of everything i will be saying here today. I’m sure the headline has already told you what this post is about. This is something I’ve wanted to talk about here before but, I always forget until now so, let’s get to the point without wasting much time.

I always see people that tries to help everyone or to impress everyone they see but in my own opinion, it will only be a waste of time and efforts because, no matter how you try, there are still people out there that do not deserve your help so, my point is to always focus on those that really require your assistance and keep helping them.

I know for sure that it’s always good to help as many people as you can after all, there is a saying that….

You will get whatever you want in life if you can help enough other people get what they want.

That is absolutely correct and I also agree with it but yet, you can never help everyone I mean, it’s impossible whether you agree with me or not.

Someone might think that he needs your help but in actual sense, he does not need it because, whenever I see someone that needs my help, I will certainly know via their actions.

So Theodore, How Do You Know When Someone Really Needs Your Help?

I’m happy you asked that question. There are so many ways through which you will know if the person you want to help deserves it or not. And, it’s always good to help people that really need it because, time is our greatest asset so, instead of wasting it unnecessarily, it’s better to use it on something that is worthwhile.

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Sign #1. Some time ago, I sent out an email to my list telling them that I will like to help them create their first blog free of charge but, the only investment they will make is to register a domain and host it which is normal. I didn’t even made it compulsory that they must use my affiliate link to register and host the domain but, I told them to use any company they want that, all I want is their cpanel login.

After sending this email, a lot of them were thanking me for that, some even requested for my own hosting affiliate link. I later created the blog for the people that complied but, one email got me angry.

This guy replied me saying that:

Dear Theodore

I thought that when you want to help someone free of charge, he does not have to spend anything on that regard, you will just do everything for him free of charge.

So, why then are you asking us to pay for the domain registration and hosting when you’re there claiming that you want to help us free of charge? Is that right? I think I will have to opt out of your list because, I hate dishonest people.

Please, it’s better to be sincere with yourself instead of claiming to do what you cannot do.

Thanks.

To be honest with you, I didn’t know what to tell him after reading his email because, I made everything clear on the broadcast I sent them of which every other person understood me except him. I was sad for sometime because, I can’t respond to his email for the fact that he unsubscribed.

But, I later told myself that, he does not deserve my help or any other persons out there. So tell me, how can you possibly help such a person?

Sign #2. Another way you can detect someone that does not deserve your help is, when someone reached out to you to help him with something on his blog.

You know, it’s always good to teach a friend how to fish instead of giving him fish all the time so, the best thing you can do for that person is to teach him how to solve the problem he is facing so that he will be able to handle it on his own next time.

But, some people will want you to do everything for them. Remember, they’re not paying you though; the money is not the issue here anyway. But, assuming they will pay for your time then, you will know it’s a business.

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But the issue is that, when you try to teach them how to handle the situation on their own either by giving them a link to an article or a video on how to remedy it, they will tell you that they don’t have the time to read or watch it, asking you to just do it for them.

Isn’t that the climax of laziness? The issue here is that, even if you do it for them the first time, they will certainly come back again thereby wasting your time unnecessarily. So tell me, do such people really need your help? I don’t know about you but, my answer is no.

Sign #3. I was in an examination hall last time and, one guy that were sitting beside me asked for my assistance to answer some of the questions. I opened my answer script for him to copy but, he complained that he is not seeing what I wrote very clearly,  I now started dictating the answers to him but, he again complained that he cannot spell everything I’m calling. Hahaha

Guess what he said…… That I should either give him my own answer script, take his own and write for him or, I should be spelling the answers for him word by word. What will you do if you were on my shoes? For me, I bluntly refused. It’s not as if I cannot do that for him but, I might end up implicating myself.

From Social Triggers: You can’t make everyone happy – stop trying

So my dear, the point is to always try and help those you think that really need your help, you will know by their words and action because, helping those that does not need it will be a waste of time and, you might end up putting yourself in trouble too.

That’s my own say but, I will like to know what you think about this. Is it good to always help everyone out there whether they need it or not? Have you ever met someone like the people I mentioned above? Please tell me via the comment section.

I will also be happy if you can help me and share this with your friends out there so they can also know the truth. God bless you :)

 

Photo Credit: Freedigitalphotos.net

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About Theodore Nwangene

Theodore Nwangene is a full time Blogger and Freelance writer. He is the founder of many businesses among which is Top Blogging Coach where he teaches young and would be Entrepreneurs how to create a lasting Internet Business and quit their daily work. Visit his blog and learn many ways you can improve your blogging experience. Connect with him on Twitter and on Facebook.

The Discussion

  1. Hi Theodore,

    Ah…we come across SO many of such kinds of people, and I liked that you gave us a few examples in this post of yours :)

    Yes, some people want everything for free if you offer a little freebie to them, not realizing that they ought to be thankful for what they have got! The perfect example was the email you get, and they unsubscribe so quick! I think instead of being grateful for the help given, even if it’s little, at least you are helping – people tend to ask for more.

    It’s almost like you offer them a little but they ask for the Universe. Just as it happened when you were giving your exam and the person next to you asked for you to write the whole paper – amazing indeed!! I mean he wasn’t content with copying, and wanted you to dictate, and not even that – asking you to exchange and write his complete paper…lol…that really crossed the limits :)

    But some people are like that and they certainly don’t deserve your help. It’s even said that God helps those who help themselves….and if you want to help a person, that person should be deserving of your help and not forget to be grateful for the help too.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead :)

    • I really wonder Harleena,
      Such people really need their head to be re-examined indeed because, something is definitely wrong with them and, they don’t know it. I’m happy you agree with all I said here :). Thanks a lot for stopping by and, do have a beautiful weekend :).

  2. Hahaha bro I have been laughing through out this post.

    See, if I were you I’ll get that guy kicked off my list before he even thought of it. Those are the kind of subscribers that swell your list and make you pay for nothing.
    You see man there is this guy who just asked me on Facebook to help him get traffic to his blog. That’s somewhat crazy to ask so I sent him to my article on having your blog popular in 90 days. This guy got to me with more excuses so I just closed him up.

    What do people really want? Lazy people should not blog

    Ahahha! the guy in class should be dismissed seriously. Did he pay your school fees?

    • Hahahahaha Enstine,
      You can ask me that again :). He didn’t pay my school fees of cause and, I paid same amount that he paid. I’m happy that the other guy opted out in the first place instead of just occupying space :).

      The guy that seeked for your assistance on blog traffic is just lazy and unserious and, I like what you did as well. Lets just keep on helping people that are ready for it instead of wasting our precious time with some never do wells.

      Thanks for stopping by my man :)

  3. This is a nice topic to be shared! One topic that many will be glued.

    In my opinion, we can’t get rid of those people who aren’t worth with our help. But then, just be kind to them and leave reminders on your blog just like what others did. Just like Ryan, one blogger whom very inspiring. He created a blog about commenting and I can see that he was sharing with the exact people.

    “Always focus on those that really require your assistance and keep helping them.” this one coincides with my thought.

    Such a brilliant and timely post. Thanks for sharing this with us!

    I found this post shared on Kingged.com, the Internet marketing content aggregator site, and I “kingged” it and left this comment.

    • Thanks Metz,
      I’m glad that you agree with my points. Its better to focus our time helping people that really deserves it instead of wasting it with those whom we knew does not need it. Thanks a lot for coming again and, have a great weekend :).

      BTW: I’ve wanted to get used to kingged but, It’s a bit complicated. I can’t even share a post….. Why?

  4. Hi Theodore,

    Nice post for discussion. First let me share my story with you. One guy asked me on Facebook “Please help me to resolve my blog issue”. At that time I was online and I replied what is the issue and then he explained. I told him to search on Google you’ll find lot of solution posts. But he said I’ve tried and there is nothing. So I asked him to give me your blog and hosting cPanel login username and password.

    Well, he said no I can’t give you my cPanel and blog login access, you can tell me solution and I’ll do it for myself. After that I explained him everything and finally his blog issue resolved. He was happy with me and offered me 1 year HG hosting for free. But I said I don’t need Hosting. I do help my friends and readers at no cost. If you’ve extra hosting account you can give it away to someone else.

    My point is here: Don’t get hyper and do your work. You know what you’re doing and don’t stop yourself to help others. This is what blogging is all about. I hope you understand my point.

    Sorry I’m not agree with Enstine Muki!

    Thanks for sharing nice post bro! :)

    • I agree with your points Bashir,
      But, what would you have done in the case of the guy I wanted to create a blog for if you were in my shoes? Would you have purchased domain and hosting for him? I guess you will not.

      And, what about the incident I had with the guy in the exam hall? What would have being your actions?

      I’m never against helping anyone but, I must know if he really needs it or if he just want to waist my time.

      Thanks a lot for stopping by man and for sharing your own opinion with us :)

  5. Philip Okechukwu says:

    Dear Theo,

    I wish I sat beside you when you were writing this post so that I can take look at your face when you are writing, because from your tone I know the facial expression you will put up when you encountered the guy from the examination hall and I also wish I was at the examination hall myself so that I could laugh off my head…..lol

    But like you already know: the two characteristics of communication :> Understanding from the senders point of view and understanding from the receivers point of view.

    So left to me, I wouldn’t nessecerily be so angry at him because I would assume that he did not understood it from my point of view. Which will make me want to explain to him on a personal basis but since he opted out then I guess that option is ruled out

    Lastly, how you know people who need help is that they seek for help with passion, rather than waiting for help to come to them
    Nice one, thanks for sharing.
    Philip..

    • Hey my man,
      I’m so happy and honored to have you here :), welcome. Yea, I agree with all you said. The only that made me sad was that I couldn’t explain more to him because he opted out but, it bares my imagination the way some people normally reason.

      Yea, you really needed to see my face at the exam hall when that guy was attempting to put me into trouble. But trust me now, I snubbed him :)

      That’s life for you anyway.

      Thanks a lot for coming once again and, have a fabulous weekend :).

  6. Theo,
    This is what really i feel very worst,
    To Help new bloggers is about raising your community, Till few days back I used to be on both hand Receiving and as well giving,

    But i saw its of no use, i have a re seller hosting as well premium genesis themes, and usually i use to give free hosting and theme installation, and after the work is don’t no one come back again.

    Finally now i most of the time keep my chat off, and literally speaking now i don’t help to any new blogger specially if some one is expecting some free stuff from me.

    We are professionals and professionals bloggers never work for free.

    • You’re right Ajit,
      We’re working so hard here and as such, we deserve some rewards for it. I can only help someone free of charge when I discovered that he truly deserve my help and, I will know that through his actions.

      I’m happy you agree with me man, thanks for coming :).

  7. Hi Theodore,

    You’re definitely correct about not being able to help everyone. After all, you were going to set up their blog for free. All the person had to do was buy a domain.

    If they can’t invest in their own personal domain, then they don’t want to be helped. Some people think that they can come online and make money without spending any.

    No matter what you do, you can’t help those people. You’re definitely correct about helping only the people who are willing to help themselves.

    Thanks for sharing and you definitely don’t need anyone like that on your list. Have a great day.

    • Welcome back Susan,
      Yea, such people are not supposed to be on my list and, I’m happy he opted out after all. You’re right, before you can help anyone, he must also be ready and willing to help himself as well.

      Thanks for stopping by Susan and, do have a nice weekend.

      BTW: Congratulations on the release of your WSO :)

  8. Hello Thedore,

    Interesting article and you are right we don’t need to help the people who don’t deserve. I too faced similar issues but in these cases we can’t do anything even if we argue with that people the situation will more more worst. So we just need to go on.

    Cheers!

  9. Are those guys really normal? I mean the guy wanting you to buy him a domain as well the other guy in the exams room. They both can’t be serious.

    I have received quite a few of emails and facebook messages from quite a sizable of individuals wanting my help but it is clear and obvious that most of them are simply not serious.

    • You can ask me that again Emmanuel,
      It also bares my imagination how some people normally reason but all the same, some days are like that. Thanks a lot for stopping by my friend and, have a fabulous weekend :).

  10. Lol.
    The world is beautiful because there are so many different kind of people!
    But someone are really out of mind….

    Just ignore them, Theodore and continue to work hard, as you are doing!

    Thnaks for sharing at Klinkk.

    • Thanks a lot Erik,
      I’m happy to have you here :). Of cause, I’ve learnt to be ignoring them any how I can. You did a really awesome job on Klinkk and, I love it :), keep up the good work man.

      Thanks for coming and do enjoy your weekend.

  11. Theodore,

    This is my first time here but I must say I love the way you write…I also love this highly controversial entry!

    The basic fact is that 99% of the persons asking your help don’t deserve it. Take the examination example you gave for instance. If I were in your shoes, I would not even bother answering that fellow. My reasoning is that when the time table was released, we both saw it…I cannot jeopardize my chances because of an unserious folk!

    I once offered a fellow who wanted to up his Alexa rank free ad space on my 2 blogs for a whole month with link juice passed. When I asked him for a banner logo, the fool asked me to go design one myself! If all humanity is like that, I better use my time doing worthier things than helping out!

    This is sure controversial…but I’m 100% with you on this!

    Do have a supercharged week. Never lose faith in humanity, but watch out for the stupid ones!

    - Terungwa

    • Thanks a lot and welcome to my blog Akaahan,
      I’m so honored to have you here indeed and, I appreciate the compliment :). Yea, such people are everywhere and, I’ve learnt to always focus my time on things that are worthwhile once I spot that the person asking for my help is does not deserve it.

      Helping someone when he is not in need of it will even make you stupid too so, its better we watch out for those kind of folks.

      I’m happy you agree with my points man, thanks for adding to the discussion and please, do come again :).

  12. Jeevan Jacob John says:

    Interesting topic, Theodore :D

    I do agree – we need to be careful and evaluate whether a person deserves our help before I try to help them (whether he/she deserves our time…after all, we can never regain the time we spend to help them. That does sound selfish, but that’s how it is).

    I have a hard time not helping people (I generally want to help everyone who asks for help, but I can’t do that, can I? If I start to do that, I would be spending my whole life doing it..I might make some people happy, but I might also make others lazy). The world is unfair and unjust. We need to work hard – people need to work hard. And we just try and help them to work hard, encourage them to work hard.

    You know, it’s like that example with teaching a guy how to fish versus giving him a few fish to eat today (teaching him fishing will help him throughout his life..at least he can catch and eat a fish everyday).

    Anyways, thank you for sharing your experience, Theodore :) Appreciate it!

    • I couldn’t have agreed more Jeevan,
      Helping someone all the time will only result to him being lazy and, that will not be the best so, its better to teach a man how to fish instead of giving him fish all the time as you mentioned.

      Thanks for your awesome comment man :)

  13. Hi Theodore,

    I feel your pain and I had some similar experiences when I first started blogging. I told people I would help them for free so I got a lot of calls and emails. I took precious time out of my day to help them only to learn that they didn’t do what I suggested. They would come up with every excuse in the book too.

    I eventually learned that I was doing this to myself. Let me explain…

    I was attracting all the lazy people who weren’t really interested in doing the work because I felt sorry for them. I didn’t have anyone to reach out and ask for help when I came online so I wanted to be that person. The problem was that I only wanted to help those who were willing to help themselves. Once I totally understood this I changed the way I thought about that. Every day I would say out loud, “today I’m only helping those who want to help themselves”. It took a little while but before you know it, the people who I was helping were actually doing the work and not only did they appreciate it but they wanted to pay me for my time even though I wasn’t asking for payment.

    I seriously wanted to help everyone who wanted it because in the beginning I thought they really wanted to learn. I eventually came to understand that there were more people who were all talk and no action then the other way around. That really does irritate me but now it’s no longer an issue.

    Try that on for size Theodore and more people will start showing up because they want what you offer. They’re worth your time.

    Thanks for sharing this and it’s so very true for more people then just you my friend.

    ~Adrienne

    • Hello Adrienne,
      Good to hear that you’ve also had such experience before. It always feels bad to do all you could to help someone only to discover at the end that they don’t even want to help themselves and, they only want to waste your time.

      The idea you shared here is good and, i will certainly try it to see what change it can make for me. Lets all bend on helping only the people who really needs it, the people who are ready to help themselves too.

      Thanks for coming Adrienne and you have a great day :).

  14. Hi Theodore,
    I totally agree with you because these people do not even have the eyes to see that you are helping them. They never change and they make one waste a lot of time. I like your post.

  15. Theodore, you are right that some people deserve your attention more than others.

    I can not believe that first email. I can not believe anyone would want you to pay for their domain and hosting.

    You lose money two times. That is ridiculous that someone would think that way.

    What is sad is people want free for everything. Some people are catered and spoiled.

    You have got to be kidding me.

  16. Exam Malpractice o!!

    Lol, on a serious not though one of the secrets to success is Learning to say NO, you can’t ever please everybody.

Trackbacks

  1. dosplash.com says:

    Attention! Why It’s a Waste of Time to Help People that Do Not Deserve Your Help

    I always see people that tries to help everyone or to impress everyone they see but in my own opinion, it will only be a waste of time and efforts because, no matter how you try, there are still people out there that do not deserve your help so, my poi…

  2. […] Recommended Reading: Attention! Why It’s a Waste of Time to Help People that Do Not Deserve Your Help […]

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